Dedicate Yourself to Lifelong Learning

Dedicate Yourself to Lifelong Learning


Continuous learning is the minimum requirement for success in any field. —DENIS WAITLEY


YOU HAVE A virtually unlimited capacity to learn and improve in your chosen field. You have more brains, ability, and intelligence than you could ever use if you were to work on developing yourself for the rest of your life. You are smarter than you can even imagine. There is no obstacle that you cannot overcome, no problem you cannot solve, and no goal you cannot achieve by applying the power of your mind to your situation. But your mind is like a muscle. It develops only with use. Just as you have to strain your physical muscles to build them, you have to work your mental muscles to build your mind as well.


The good news is that the more you learn, the more you can learn. Just like the more you play a sport, the better you get at the sport. The more you dedicate yourself to lifelong learning, the easier it is for you to learn even more. Leaders are learners. Continuous learning is the key to the 21st century. Lifelong learning is the minimum requirement for success in your field or in any field. Make a decision today that you are going to become a student of your craft and that you are going to continue learning and becoming better for the rest of your life. There are three keys to lifelong learning.


The first key is to read in your field for at least 30 to 60 minutes each day. Reading is to the mind as exercise is to the body. Reading for an hour each day will translate into about one book per week. One book per week will translate into 50 books per year. Fifty books per year will translate into 500 books over the next 10 years. Since the average adult reads less than one book per year, when you begin reading one hour per day, one book per week, this alone will give you an incredible edge in your field. You will become one of the smartest, most competent, and highest paid people in your profession by simply reading one hour each day.


The second key to lifelong learning is to listen to audio programs in your car as you drive from place to place. The average person sits behind the wheel in his or her car 500 to 1,000 hours per year. This is the equivalent of 12 to 24 forty-hour weeks, or as much as three to six months of working time that you spend in your car. This is the equivalent of one to two full-time semesters at a university. Turn your car into a learning machine, into a university on wheels. Never let your car motor be running without an educational audio program playing. Many people have become millionaires through the miracle of audio learning. This is why audio learning is often called the greatest breakthrough in education since the invention of the printing press.


A third key to lifelong learning is to attend every course and seminar you can possibly find that can help you to be better in your field.* The combination of books, audio programs, and seminars will enable you to save hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars, and many years of hard work, in achieving the level of financial success that you desire. Make a decision today to become a lifelong learner. You will be amazed at the effect that it has in your career. Lifelong learning can be a major factor in your becoming a self-made millionaire.




ACTION EXERCISE Select a subject that can really help you to be more productive and effective in your field. Set a goal to master this subject. Make it a “do-it-to-yourself” project. Then, read on this subject every day. Listen to audio programs on the subject. Attend courses on the subject. Work on this project as if your future depends on it, because it does! 

Work Longer and Harder

Work Longer and Harder

The harder I work, the luckier I get. —JAMES THURBER


ALL SELF-MADE millionaires work hard, hard, hard. They start earlier, they work harder, and they stay later. They develop a reputation for being amongst the hardest working people in their fields. And everybody knows it. Practice the “40 Plus” formula. This formula says that you work 40 hours per week for survival; everything over 40 hours is for success.


If you work only 40 hours (and the average workweek today is closer to 35 hours), all you will ever do is survive. You will never get ahead. You will never be a big financial success. You will never be highly respected and esteemed by your colleagues. You will always be mediocre working the basic 40-hour week. But every hour over 40 hours is an investment in your future. In fact, you can tell with tremendous accuracy where you are going to be in five years by looking at how many hours over 40 you put in every week. There is just no substitute for long days and hard work. Self-made millionaires in America work an average of 59 hours per week.


Many of them work 70 or 80 hours, especially at the start of their careers. They work an average of six days per week, rather than five, and work longer days as well. If you want to call a self-made millionaire, phone the office before normal working hours and after normal working hours. The self-made millionaire is there when the staff, the “nine-to-fivers,” arrive and is still there when they leave. And here’s the key: Work all the time you work. When you work, don’t waste time. When you get in early, put your head down and get started immediately.

When people want to talk to you, excuse yourself and say, “I have to get back to work!” Do not drop off your dry cleaning, phone your friends, socialize with your coworkers, or read the newspaper. Work all the time you work. Resolve today to develop the reputation for being the hardest working person in your company. This will bring you to the attention of people who can help you faster than almost anything else you can do.


ACTION EXERCISE

Make a plan today to increase the number of hours you work each day. Resolve to get to the office one hour earlier and get a head start on the day. Work at lunchtime when others are gone. Stay one hour later to get caught up. This strategy alone will double your output while adding only two hours to your day.

Commit to Excellence

Commit to Excellence

The quality of your life will be determined by the depth of your commitment to excellence, no matter what your chosen field. —VINCE LOMBARDI


RESOLVE TODAY TO be the very best at what you do. Set a goal for yourself to join the top 10 percent of your field, whatever it is. This decision, to become very, very good at what you do, can be the turning point in your life. Virtually all successful people are recognized as being extremely competent in their chosen fields. Remember that no one is better than you, and no one is smarter than you. And everyone who is in the top 10 percent today started off in the bottom 10 percent.

Everyone who is doing well was once doing poorly. Everyone who is at the top of his or her field was at one time in another field altogether. And what countless others have done, you can do as well. Here is a great rule for success: Your life only gets better when you get better. And since there is no limit to how much better you can become, there is no limit to how much better you can make your life. Your decision to become excellent at what you do, to join the top 10 percent in your field, is the turning point in your life. It is the key to great success.


It is also the foundation of high levels of self-esteem, self-respect, and personal pride. When you are really good at what you do, you feel wonderful about yourself. Being excellent affects your whole personality and all your relationships with other people. You feel happy and proud when you know you are at the top of your field. Here is one of the most important questions you will ever ask and answer, for the rest of your career:


What one skill, if I developed and did it in an excellent fashion, would have the greatest positive impact on my life? You cannot become good at everything right away, but you can identify the one skill that can help you the most and then throw your whole heart into developing that skill. Set it as a goal. Write it down. Set a dead- line. Make a plan. And work on becoming better in that area every single day. You will be absolutely amazed at the difference this commitment to excellence will make in your life. This commitment alone can make you a self-made millionaire in the course of your career.


ACTION EXERCISE

Identify your key result areas in your current job. What are the parts of your work that you must absolutely, positively perform in an excellent fashion to move to the top of your field? Where are you strong and where are you weak? Make a plan today to get better in the one skill area where improvement can help you the most.

Do What You Love to Do

Do What You Love to Do

When you start doing what you really love to do, you’ll never work another day in your life. —BRIAN TRACY


DOING WHAT YOU love to do is one of the great secrets of financial success. One of your primary responsibilities in life is to find out what you really enjoy doing, what you have a natural talent for, and then to throw your whole heart into doing that particular work very, very well. Self-made millionaires are those who have found a field where their natural strengths and abilities are exactly what is required to do the job and achieve the results desired. Most self-made millionaires say that they “never worked a day in their life.” You must find a field in which you can be totally absorbed—a job or area of endeavor that completely fascinates you, that holds your attention, that is a natural expression of your special talents and abilities.


When you are doing what you love to do, you seem to have a continuous flow of excitement, energy, and ideas to do what you do even better. Here is a question for you: If you won a million dollars, tax free, tomorrow, would you continue to do what you are currently doing? This is a great question. It simply asks you what you would do if you had all the time and money you needed and you were free to choose your occupation. Self-made millionaires, if they won a million dollars cash, would continue doing what they are doing.

They would only do it differently or better or at a higher level. But they love their work so much that they wouldn’t even think of leaving it or retiring. Perhaps the greatest responsibility of adult life, when you are surrounded by so many different choices of occupation and career, is for you to find out what you really love doing and then dedicate yourself to that field. And no one else can do this for you.



ACTION EXERCISE

Identify the type of work that you enjoy the most. What activities have been most responsible for your success in life to date? If you could do any job at all and be successful at it, what would you choose? Set it as a goal, make a plan, and begin moving in that direction today.

See Yourself as Self-Employed

See Yourself as Self-Employed 

I am the captain of my soul; I am the master of my fate. —WILLIAM HENLEY


FROM NOW ON, accept complete, 100 percent responsibility for everything you are and everything you will ever be. Refuse to make excuses or to blame other people for your problems or shortcomings. Stop complaining about things in your life that you are not happy about. Refuse to criticize other people for anything. You are responsible. If there is something in your life that you don’t like, it is up to you to change it.

You are in charge. The top 3 percent of Americans see themselves as self-employed, no matter who signs their paychecks. The biggest mistake you can ever make is to think that you work for anyone other than yourself. You are always self-employed. You are always the president of your own personal service corporation, no matter where you might be working at the moment.

When you see yourself as self-employed, you develop an entrepreneur mentality, the mentality of highly independent, self-responsible, self-starting individuals. Instead of waiting for things to happen, you make things happen. You see yourself as the boss of your own life. You see yourself as completely in charge of your physical health, your financial well being, your career, your relationships, your lifestyle, your home, your car, and every other element of your existence. This is the mind-set of the self-made millionaire. Self-responsible people are intensely result oriented. They always take high levels of initiative. They volunteer for assignments and are always asking for more responsibility.

As a result, they become the most valuable and respected people in their organizations. They continually prepare themselves for positions of higher authority and responsibility in the future. You should do the same. Here’s a question: If you were president of your company for a day or were completely responsible for results where you work, what one change would you enact immediately? Whatever it is, write it down, make a plan, and begin implementing it today. This action alone could change your life.



ACTION EXERCISE

Identify your favorite reasons and excuses for not committing wholeheartedly to your financial goals. Is there anyone or anything in your life that you are blaming for holding you back? Whatever it might be, accept complete responsibility for your life and take action today!

Develop a Clear Sense of Direction

Develop a Clear Sense of Direction

A person with a clear purpose will make progress on even the roughest road. A person with no purpose will make no progress on even the smoothest road. —THOMAS CARLYLE

TAKE YOUR DREAMS out of the air and crystallize them into clear, specific written goals. Perhaps the greatest discovery in human history is that

“You become what you think about most of the time.”

The two factors that, more than anything else, determine what happens to you in life are what you think about and how you think about it most of the time. Successful people think about their goals most of the time. As a result, they are continually moving toward their goals, and their goals are continually moving toward them. Whatever you think about most of the time grows and increases in your life. If you are thinking about, talking about, and visualizing your goals, you tend to accomplish far, far more than the average person, who is usually thinking and talking about his or her worries and problems most of the time. Here is a simple seven-step formula for setting and achieving goals that you can use to become a millionaire:

First, decide exactly what you want in each area of your life, especially in your financial life. Most people never do this.
Second, write down your goals clearly and specifically. Something amazing happens between your head and your hand when you put your goals in writing.
Third, set a deadline for each goal. Set sub deadlines if a goal is big enough. Give yourself a target to aim at.
Fourth, make a list of everything you can think of that you will have to do to achieve each goal. As you think of new ideas, add them to your list until it is complete.
Fifth, organize your list into a plan of action. Determine what you are going to do first and what you will do later. Decide what is more important and what is less important.
Sixth, take action on your plan immediately. It is amazing how many splendid goals and plans are never realized because of procrastination and delay.
Seventh, and perhaps most important, do something every day that moves you at least one step closer to your most important goal. This commitment to daily action will make you a big success in anything you decide to accomplish.

Here is an exercise for you. Take a sheet of paper and write the word “Goals” at the top of the page with today’s date. Then, make a list of 10 goals that you would like to achieve over the next 12 months. Write your goals in the present tense, as though a year has passed and you have already achieved them. Begin each goal with the word “I” to make it personal to you. By making out a list of 10 goals for yourself for the next year, you will move yourself into an exclusive group consisting of only 3 percent of adults in our society. The sad fact is that 97 percent of adults have never made a list of goals in their entire lives.


Once you have your list of 10 goals, go over the list and ask this key question: Which one goal on this list, if I were to achieve it, would have the greatest positive impact on my life? Whatever your answer to that question, circle that goal and make that your number one, most important goal for the future. Set a deadline, make a plan, take action on your plan, and do something every day that moves you toward that goal. From now on, think and talk about that goal all the time. Think and talk about how you can achieve that goal. Think and talk about all the different steps that you can take to make that goal a reality. This exercise will stimulate your creativity, increase your energy, and unlock more and more of your potential.




ACTION EXERCISE

Always think on paper. Sit down and begin writing out your goals and creating your plan to achieve them. This exercise alone can make you a self-made millionaire.

Dream Big Dreams 1

Dream Big Dreams 1

Dream big dreams; only big dreams have the power to move men’s souls. —MARCUS AURELIUS


THE FIRST SECRET of self-made millionaires is simple: Dream Big Dreams! Allow yourself to dream. Allow yourself to imagine and fantasize about the kind of life you would like to live. Think about the amount of money you would like to earn and have in your bank account. All great men and women begin with a dream of something wonderful and different from what they have today. You know the song that says “You have to have a dream if you want to make a dream come true.” It’s true for you and for everyone else, as well. Imagine that you have no limitations on what you can be, have, or do in life. Just for the moment,


imagine that you have all the time, all the money, all the education, all the experience, all the friends, all the contacts, all the resources, and everything else you need to achieve anything you want in life. If your potential were completely unlimited, what kind of a life would you want to create for yourself and your family? Practice “back from the future” thinking. This is a powerful technique practiced continually by high performing men and women. This way of thinking has an amazing effect on your mind and on your behavior. Here is how it works: Project yourself forward five years. Imagine that five years have passed and that your life is now perfect in every respect. What does it look like? What are you doing? Where are you working?


How much money are you earning? How much do you have in the bank? What kind of a lifestyle do you have? Create a vision for yourself for the long-term future. The more clear your vision of health, happiness, and prosperity, the faster you move toward it and the faster it moves toward you. When you create a clear mental picture of where you are going in life, you become more positive, more motivated, and more determined to make it a reality. You trigger your natural creativity and come up with idea after idea to help make your vision come true. You always tend to move in the direction of your dominant dreams, images, and visions.


The very act of allowing yourself to dream big dreams actually raises your self-esteem and causes you to like and respect yourself more. It improves your self-concept and increases your level of self-confidence. It increases your personal level of self-respect and happiness. There is something about dreams and visions that is exciting and that stimulates you to do and be better than you ever have before. Here is a great question for you to ask and answer, over and over again: What one thing would I dare to dream if I knew I could not fail? If you were absolutely guaranteed of success in any one goal in life, large or small, short-term or longterm, what would it be? What one great goal would you dare to dream if you knew you could not fail? Whatever it is, write it down and begin imagining that you have achieved this one great goal already. Then, look back to where you are today. What would you have done to get where you want to go? What steps would you have taken?


What would you have changed in your life? What would you have started up or abandoned? Who would you be with? Who would you no longer be with? If your life were perfect in every respect, what would it look like? Whatever it is that you would do differently, take the first step today. Dreaming big dreams is the starting point of achieving your goal of financial independence. The number one reason that people never succeed financially is because it never occurs to them that they can do it.


As a result, they never try. They never get started. They continue to go around in financial circles, spending everything they earn and a little bit more besides. But when you begin to dream big dreams about financial success, you begin to change the way you see yourself and your life. You begin to do different things, bit by bit, gradually, until the whole direction of your life changes for the better. Dreaming big dreams is the starting point of financial success and of becoming a self-made millionaire.


ACTION EXERCISE

Make a list of everything you would do or attempt if you were absolutely guaranteed of success. Then decide upon one specific action and do it immediately.

The Law of Cause and Effect

The Law of Cause and Effect



What you are about to learn can change your life. These ideas, insights, and strategies have been the springboards to financial success for millions of men and women, young and old, rich and poor. These principles are simple, effective, and fairly easy to apply. They have been tested and proven over and over again, and they will work for you if you will take them and apply them in your own life. We are living at the greatest time in all of human history. More people are becoming wealthy today, starting from nothing, than ever before imagined. There are more than seven million millionaires in America, most of them self-made, and the number is growing by 15 to 20 percent each year. We even have self-made ten millionaires, hundred millionaires, and more than two hundred billionaires.


We have never seen this type of rapid wealth creation in all of human history. Here’s the best news of all. Virtually everyone 1starts with nothing. More than 90 percent of all financially successful people today started off broke or nearly broke. The average self-made millionaire has been bankrupt or nearly bankrupt 3.2 times. Most wealthy people failed many times before they finally found the right opportunity that they were able to leverage into financial success. And what hundreds of thousands and millions of other people have done, you can do as well. The iron law of human destiny is the Law of Cause and Effect. This law is simple yet very powerful. It says that there is a specific effect for every cause. For every action, there is a reaction. This law says that success is not an accident. Financial success is the result of doing certain, specific things over and over again until you achieve the financial independence that you desire. Nature is neutral. The natural world, the marketplace, or our society does not care who you are or what you are.


The Law of Cause and Effect says that if you do what other successful people do, you will eventually get the results that other successful people get. And if you don’t, you won’t. This law says that when you learn the success secrets of self-made millionaires and apply them in your own life, you will experience results and rewards far beyond anything you have accomplished up until now. Here is an important point for you to remember. Nobody is better than you and nobody is smarter than you. Let me repeat that. Nobody is better than you and nobody is smarter than you. Get those thoughts out of your mind. One of the primary reasons for selling yourself short, for underachievement and lack of financial success, is the conviction that people who are doing better than you are better than you. This is simply not the case.


The fact is that most self-made millionaires are ordinary people with average educations working at average jobs and living in average neighborhoods in average houses driving average cars. But they have found out what other financially successful people do and they have done those same things over and over again until they achieved the same results. It is no miracle and it is no accident. And when you think the same thoughts and do the same things that self-made millionaires do, you will begin to get the same results and benefits they do. It is simply a matter of cause and effect. There are 21 success secrets of self-made millionaires. Each of these is indispensable to your becoming financially independent. The failure to apply any one of these principles can, by itself, undermine and even destroy your chances for health, happiness, and great prosperity.


The good news is that you can learn every one of these principles by practice and repetition, over and over again, until they become as natural to you as breathing in and breathing out. Just as you learned to ride a bicycle or drive a car, you can learn the success secrets of self-made millionaires and apply them in your life. And there are no limits except the limits you place on yourself by your own thinking. Now, let us begin.

Success Is Predictable

Success Is Predictable

Let me repeat the most important message of this entire book. It is this: “Success is predictable.” Success is not a matter of luck or accident or being in the right place at the right time. Success is as predictable as the sun rising in the east and setting in the west. By practicing the principles that you have just learned, you will move to the front of the line in life. You will have an incredible advantage over people who do not know or who do not practice these techniques and strategies. You will have an advantage that will give you the winning edge for the rest of your life and career. If you consistently and persistently do the things that other successful people do, nothing in the world can stop you from becoming a big success yourself. You are the architect of your own destiny. You are the master of your own fate. You are behind the steering wheel of your own life. There are no limitations to what you can do, have, or be except the limitations you place on yourself by your own thinking. Remember, you are as good or better than anyone you will ever meet. You are an outstanding human being. You have talents and abilities far greater than anything you have ever realized or used up to now. You have within you the potential to accomplish wonderful things with your life. Your greatest responsibilities are to dream big dreams, decide exactly what you want, make a plan to achieve it, practice the strategies taught in this book, take action every single day in the direction of your dreams and goals, and resolve to never, never, never give up. When you take these actions, you put yourself on the side of the angels. You become unstoppable and your success becomes inevitable.

पूजा से पहले शौच और आचमन करना क्यों जरूरी?

पूजा से पहले शौच और आचमन करना क्यों जरूरी?


* सकल सौच करि राम नहावा। सुचि सुजान बट छीर मगावा॥
अनुज सहित सिर जटा बनाए। देखि सुमंत्र नयन जल छाए॥

भावार्थ:-शौच के सब कार्य करके (नित्य) पवित्र और सुजान श्री रामचन्द्रजी ने स्नान किया। फिर बड़ का दूध मँगाया और छोटे भाई लक्ष्मणजी सहित उस दूध से सिर पर जटाएँ बनाईं। यह देखकर सुमंत्रजी के नेत्रों में जल छा गया॥

संध्या वंदन के समय मंदिर या एकांत में शौच, आचमन, प्राणायामादि कर गायत्री छंद से निराकार ईश्वर की प्रार्थना की जाती है। संधिकाल में ही संध्या वंदन किया जाता है। वेदज्ञ और ईश्‍वरपरायण लोग इस समय प्रार्थना करते हैं। ज्ञानीजन इस समय ध्‍यान करते हैं। भक्तजन कीर्तन करते हैं।

पुराणिक लोग देवमूर्ति के समक्ष इस समय पूजा या आरती करते हैं। तब सिद्ध हुआ की संध्योपासना या हिन्दू प्रार्थना के चार प्रकार हो गए हैं- (1)प्रार्थना-स्तुति, (2)ध्यान-साधना, (3)कीर्तन-भजन और (4)पूजा-आरती।

 व्यक्ति की जिस में जैसी श्रद्धा है वह वैसा करता है। 

भारतीय परंपरा में पूजा, प्रार्थना और दर्शन से पहले शौचा और आचमन करने का विधान है। बहुत से लोग मंदिर में बगैर शौच या आचमन किए जले जाते हैं जो कि अनुचित है। प्रात्येक मंदिर के बाहर या प्रांगण में नल जल की उचित व्यवस्था होनी चाहिए जहां व्यक्ति बैठकर अच्छे से खुद को शुद्ध कर सके। जल का उचित स्थान नहीं है तो यह मंदिर दोष में गिना जाएगा।

शौच का अर्थ : - शौच अर्थात शुचिता, शुद्धता, शुद्धि, विशुद्धता, पवित्रता और निर्मलता। शौच का अर्थ शरीर और मन की बाहरी और आंतरिक पवित्रता से है। आचमन से पूर्व शौचादि से निवृत्त हुआ जाता है।

 शौच का अर्थ है अच्छे से मल-मूत्र त्यागना भी है। शौच के दो प्रकार हैं- बाह्य और आभ्यन्तर। बाह्य का अर्थ बाहरी शुद्धि से है और आभ्यन्तर का अर्थ आंतरिक अर्थात मन वचन और कर्म की शुद्धि से है। जब व्यक्ति शरीर, मन, वचन और कर्म से शुद्ध रहता है तब उसे स्वास्थ्‍य और सकारात्मक ऊर्जा का लाभ मिलना शुरू हो जाता है।

*शौचादि से निवृत्ति होने के बाद पूजा, प्रार्थना के पूर्व आचमन किया जाता है। मंदिर में जाकर भी सबसे पहले आचमन किया जाता है।

शौच के दो प्रकार हैं- बाह्य और आभ्यन्तर।

*बाहरी शुद्धि- हमेशा दातुन कर स्नान करना एवं पवित्रता बनाए रखना बाह्य शौच है। कितने भी बीमार हों तो भी मिट्टी, साबुन, पानी से थोड़ी मात्रा में ही सही लेकिन बाहरी पवित्रता अवश्य बनाए रखनी चाहिए। आप चाहे तो शरीर के जो छिद्र हैं उन्हें ही जल से साफ और पवित्र बनाएँ रख सकते हैं। बाहरी शुद्धता के लिए अच्छा और पवित्र जल-भोजन करना भी जरूरी है। अपवित्र या तामसिक खानपान से बाहरी शु‍द्धता भंग होती है।

*आंतरिक शुद्धि- आभ्यन्तर शौच उसे कहते हैं जिसमें हृदय से रोग-द्वेष तथा मन के सभी खोटे कर्म को दूर किया जाता है। जैसे क्रोध से मस्तिष्क और स्नायुतंत्र क्षतिग्रस्त होता है।

 लालच, ईर्ष्या, कंजूसी आदि से मन में संकुचन पैदा होता है जो शरीर की ग्रंथियों को भी संकुचित कर देता है। यह सभी हमारी सेहत को प्रभावित करते हैं। मन, वचन और कर्म से पवित्र रहना ही आंतरिक शुद्धता के अंतर्गत आता है अर्थात अच्छा सोचे, बोले और करें।

शौच के लाभ- ईर्ष्या, द्वेष, तृष्णा, अभिमान, कुविचार और पंच क्लेश को छोड़ने से दया, क्षमा, नम्रता, स्नेह, मधुर भाषण तथा त्याग का जन्म होता है। इससे मन और शरीर में जाग्रति का जन्म होता है। विचारों में सकारात्मकता बढ़कर उसके असर की क्षमता बढ़ती है। रोग और शौक से छुटकारा मिलता है। शरीर स्वस्थ और सेहतमंद अनुभव करता है। निराशा, हताशा और नकारात्मकता दूर होकर व्यक्ति की कार्यक्षमता बढ़ती है।

जानिए आचमन के बारे में विस्तार से...

आचमन का अर्थ : - आचमन का अर्थ होता है जल पीना। प्रार्थना, दर्शन, पूजा, यज्ञ आदि आरंभ करने से पूर्व शुद्धि के लिए मंत्र पढ़ते हुए जल पीना ही आचमन कहलाता है। इससे मन और हृदय की शुद्धि होती है। आचमनी का अर्थ एक छोटा तांबे का लोटा और तांबे की चम्मच को आचमनी कहते हैं। छोटे से तांबे के लोटे में जल भरकर उसमें तुलसी डालकर हमेशा पूजा स्थल पर रखा जाता है। यह जल आचमन का जल कहलाता है। इस जल को तीन बार ग्रहण किया जाता है। माना जाता है कि ऐसे आचमन करने से पूजा का दोगुना फल मिलता है।

आचमन विधि : - वैसे तो आचमन के कई विधान और मंत्र है लेकिन यहां छोटी सी ही विधि प्रस्तुत है। आचमन सदैव उत्तर, ईशान या पूर्व दिशा की ओर मुख करके ही किया जाता है अन्य दिशाओं की ओर मुंह करके कदापि न करें। संध्या के पात्र तांबे का लोटा, तारबन, आचमनी, टूक्कस हाथ धोने के लिए कटोरी, आसन आदि लेकर के गायत्री छंद से इस संध्या की शुरुआत की जाती है। प्रातःकाल की संध्या तारे छिपने के बाद तथा सूर्योदय पूर्व करते हैं।

आचमन के लिए जल इतना लें कि हृदय तक पहुंच जाए। अब हथेलियों को मोड़कर गाय के कान जैसा बना लें कनिष्ठा व अंगुष्ठ को अलग रखें। तत्पश्चात जल लेकर तीन बार निम्न मंत्र का उच्चारण करते हैं:- हुए जल ग्रहण करें-
ॐ केशवाय नम:
ॐ नाराणाय नम:
ॐ माधवाय नम:
ॐ ह्रषीकेशाय नम:, बोलकर ब्रह्मतीर्थ (अंगुष्ठ का मूल भाग) से दो बार होंठ पोंछते हुए हस्त प्रक्षालन करें (हाथ धो लें)। उपरोक्त विधि ना कर सकने की स्थिति में केवल दाहिने कान के स्पर्श मात्र से ही आचमन की विधि की पूर्ण मानी जाती है।

आचमन मुद्रा : - शास्त्रों में कहा गया है कि,,,
 त्रिपवेद आपो गोकर्णवरद् हस्तेन त्रिराचमेत्। यानी आचमन के लिए बाएं हाथ की गोकर्ण मुद्रा ही होनी चाहिए तभी यह लाभदायी रहेगा। गोकर्ण मुद्रा बनाने के लिए दर्जनी को मोड़कर अंगूठे से दबा दें। उसके बाद मध्यमा, अनामिका और कनिष्ठिका को परस्पर इस प्रकार मोड़ें कि हाथ की आकृति गाय के कान जैसी हो जाए।

भविष्य पुराण के अनुसार जब पूजा की जाए तो आचमन पूरे विधान से करना चाहिए। जो विधिपूर्वक आचमन करता है, वह पवित्र हो जाता है। सत्कर्मों का अधिकारी होता है। आचमन की विधि यह है कि हाथ-पांव धोकर पवित्र स्थान में आसन के ऊपर पूर्व से उत्तर की ओर मुख करके बैठें। दाहिने हाथ को जानु के अंदर रखकर दोनों पैरों को बराबर रखें। फिर जल का आचमन करें।

आचमन करते समय हथेली में 5 तीर्थ बताए गए हैं- 1. देवतीर्थ, 2. पितृतीर्थ, 3. ब्रह्मातीर्थ, 4. प्रजापत्यतीर्थ और 5. सौम्यतीर्थ।

कहा जाता है कि अंगूठे के मूल में ब्रह्मातीर्थ, कनिष्ठा के मूल में प्रजापत्यतीर्थ, अंगुलियों के अग्रभाग में देवतीर्थ, तर्जनी और अंगूठे के बीच पितृतीर्थ और हाथ के मध्य भाग में सौम्यतीर्थ होता है, जो देवकर्म में प्रशस्त माना गया है।

 आचमन हमेशा ब्रह्मातीर्थ से करना चाहिए। आचमन करने से पहले अंगुलियां मिलाकर एकाग्रचित्त यानी एकसाथ करके पवित्र जल से बिना शब्द किए 3 बार आचमन करने से महान फल मिलता है। आचमन हमेशा 3 बार करना चाहिए।

आचमन के बारे में स्मृति ग्रंथ में लिखा है कि
प्रथमं यत् पिबति तेन ऋग्वेद प्रीणाति।
यद् द्वितीयं तेन यजुर्वेद प्रीणाति।
यत् तृतीयं तेन सामवेद प्रीणाति।

श्लोक का अर्थ है कि आचमन क्रिया में हर बार एक-एक वेद की तृप्ति प्राप्त होती है। प्रत्येक कर्म के आरंभ में आचमन करने से मन, शरीर एवं कर्म को प्रसन्नता प्राप्त होती है। आचमन करके अनुष्ठान प्रारंभ करने से छींक, डकार और जंभाई आदि नहीं होते हालांकि इस मान्यता के पीछे कोई उद्देश्य नहीं है।

पहले आचमन से ऋग्वेद और द्वितीय से यजुर्वेद और तृतीय से सामवेद की तृप्ति होती है। आचमन करके जलयुक्त दाहिने अंगूठे से मुंह का स्पर्श करने से अथर्ववेद की तृप्ति होती है। आचमन करने के बाद मस्तक को अभिषेक करने से भगवान शंकर प्रसन्न होते हैं। दोनों आंखों के स्पर्श से सूर्य, नासिका के स्पर्श से वायु और कानों के स्पर्श से सभी ग्रंथियां तृप्त होती हैं। माना जाता है कि ऐसे आचमन करने से पूजा का दोगुना फल मिलता है।

"शौच ईपसु: सर्वदा आचामेद एकान्ते प्राग उदड़्ग मुख:" (मनुस्मृति)

अर्थात जो पवित्रता की कामना रखता है उसे एकान्त में आचमन अवश्य करना चाहिए। 'आचमन' कर्मकांड की सबसे जरूरी विधि मानी जाती है। वास्तव में आचमन केवल कोई प्रक्रिया नहीं है। यह हमारी बाहरी और भीतरी शुद्धता का प्रतीक है।

“एवं स ब्राह्मणों नित्यमुस्पर्शनमाचरेत्।
ब्रह्मादिस्तम्बपर्यंन्तं जगत् स परितर्पयेत्॥”

प्रत्येक कार्य में आचमन का विधान है। आचमन से हम न केवल अपनी शुद्धि करते हैं अपितु ब्रह्मा से लेकर तृण तक को तृप्त कर देते हैं। जब हम हाथ में जल लेकर उसका आचमन करते हैं तो वह हमारे मुंह से गले की ओर जाता है, यह पानी इतना थोड़ा होता है कि सीधे आंतों तक नहीं पहुंचता।

हमारे हृदय के पास स्थित ज्ञान चक्र तक ही पहुंच पाता है और फिर इसकी गति धीमी पड़ जाती है। यह इस बात का प्रतीक है कि हम वचन और विचार दोनों से शुद्ध हो गए हैं तथा हमारी मन:स्थिति पूजा के लायक हो गई है। आचमन में तांबे के विशेष पात्र से हथेली में जल लेकर ग्रहण किया जाता है। उसके बाद खुद पर जल छिड़क कर शुद्ध किया जाता है।

मनुस्मृति में कहा गया है कि- नींद से जागने के बाद, भूख लगने पर, भोजन करने के बाद, छींक आने पर, असत्य भाषण होने पर, पानी पीने के बाद, और अध्ययन करने के बाद आचमन जरूर करें।

मृत्यु और मुक्ति क्या है?

मृत्यु और मुक्ति क्या है?

●   स्वार्थ परायण कर्मो छोड देने का नाम है कर्म बंधन से मुक्ति,,,

●  स्वार्थ कर्म छोडकर, परमार्थ कर्म करना ही है, कर्म बंधन से मुक्ति,,,

● शरीर के साथ जीवात्मा का संबंध छूटने का नाम है जीवात्मा की मुक्ति

● जीवात्मा की शरीर बंधन से मुक्ति को मृत्यु कहते है,,,

● मृत्यु के बाद जीवात्मा की गति उस ने किए कर्म अनुसार होती है,,, वो जीवात्मा ही जानता है,,,

गरुड़पुराण के अनुसार मृत्यु के आठ प्रहर तक जीवात्मा अपना जीवन मे किए हुए कर्मो देखता है, फिर ग्यारह दिन तक सूक्ष्म अद्रश्य शरीर मृत्यु स्थान पर रहता है, ( लोगो का एक शक यह है कि जहाँ मरता है वहाँ आत्मा रहती है तो  मरनेवाले की उत्तरक्रिया का विधि विधान घर पर क्युँ ???

तो विधि विधान मे मंत्रो के द्वारा आत्मा को बुलाया जाता है, इस लिए मरे कहीं पर भी मगर विधि विधान घर पर कराया जाता है और परिवार भी  पिंडदान विधि मे सामिल होने से उस के ऋण से मुक्त होते है )

मृत्यु के बारहवा दिन की विधि विधान के बाद उन की गति किस योनि मे हुई वो जानने के लिए, एक बडी थाली मे आटा रखकर, उस के उपर जालीदार ढक्कन लगाकर, एकांत मे रातभर रख देते है, तो सुबह वो थाली मे देखने से दो पगा, चो पगा जानवर पगला ( पैरो के निशान ) देखने मिलेगा,,, उसे देखकर माना जाते है कि वो किस योनि मे गया,,,

ज्योतिष के अनुसार भी जान सकते है, मृत्यु का समय पक्का होना चाहिए,,,  ( ज्योतिष मे सच्चाई तभी होती है, जब किसी भी घटना का समय, तिथि, स्थल निश्चित हो,,, नाम राशि एक आश्वसन है,,, )

● मृत्युपानेवाले को लोकबोली मे स्वर्गवासी कहते है,,,  मगर जीवात्मा का कर्म अनुसार ही गति होती है, तब कोई गेरंटी नही की मरनेवाला सवर्गवासी ही हो गया,,,, ( लगता है कि कुछ कर्महीन लोगो का जीवन को ही लोग नर्क समजते होंगे,,, तभी स्वर्गवासी हो गया ऐसा कहते होंगे,,,    ह ह ह ह ह ह )

●   कोई अंतेवासी हो गए कहते है,,,

● कोई शांत हो गए कहते है,,,

● कोई धार्मिकता का महत्व जोडकर, मृत्यु पानेवाले के लिए अलग अलग शब्द जोडते है,,,
 #_विष्णु_उपासक_पंथ मे,,,

▪  संत का मृत्यु होने पर गौ लोकवासी हो गए कहते है अथवा वैकुंठवासी हो गए कहते है,,,
#_शिव_उपासक_पंथ मे,,,

▪   साधु-संत मृत्यु होने पर शिवलोकवासी हो गये  कहते है अथवा कैलाशवासी हो गए कहते है,,,

▪  योगी तपस्वी साधु का मृत्यु होने पर
ब्रह्मनिष्ठ हो गए कहते है,,,

▪  मगर कोई योगेश्वर साधु अखंड तपस्या करने जीन्दा समाधि लेता है तो उसे ब्रह्मलिन कहते है ।

यह पृथ्वि को शास्त्रो मे मृत्यु लोक कहा है,,, यह मृत्युलोक जीवात्मा की कर्म भूमि है,,, जन्म और मृत्यु के बीच मे रहा जीवन जीवात्मा का कर्मकाल है, अपने कर्मकाल मे चेतन-जागृत होकर कर्म करे, तो अपने कर्मो से जीवात्मा मुक्ति, बंधन या काल पर विजय पाकर सकता है, अरे ! अजर अमर भी हो सकता है ।

भारत भूमि मे अजर अमर साधु संतो की कई जगह जीन्दा समाधि है ।

अपने प्राणो पर विजय पानेवाला ही अजर अमर हो सकता है, प्राण को आत्मा कहा गया है, तो प्राण को वायु भी कहा गया है । श्वास लेते है,,, वो वायु प्राण वायु है, श्वास छोडते है, वो वायु अपान ( अभोग्य ) वायु कहते है,,, योग सिध्ध महा पुरूष प्राणवायु को अपने योग से स्थिर कर देते है उर युगो तक जीवित रहते है । अपनी योग माया से सुक्ष्म शरीर से मायावी दुसरा स्वरूप से लोगो को दर्शन भी देते है । यह रहस्यमय होनेसे आप चमत्कार कहोगे,,, आत्मबल से यह होत है ।

 योग्य गुरू से शीखकर यह क्रिया आप भी शीख सकते है,,,  ( यहाँ यह कार्य के लिए सरकारी  पेन्सन लेनेवाला और विध्यार्थी को गोखणपट्टी का टेन्सन देनेवाला शिक्षक नही चलता है, क्योकि शिक्षक शरीर को सुख दे सकता है, जब गुरू आत्मा को शांति देता है )

 जीवात्मा का उध्धार के लिए सत्य सनातन धर्म के धर्मशास्त्रो मे कई मार्ग बताए है । मगर कर्महीन मनुष्य धर्म मे भी सरलता ढुँढता है, तभी तो कर्महीन लोगो की यहाँ कोई कमी भी नही है, ऐसा कर्महीन लोगो का जीवन ही नर्क समान होता है, तब ऐसा कर्महीन व्यक्ति का मृत्यु को कोई स्वर्गवासी कह भी दे तो कौन बुरा मानेगा,,,,,,,,,,,,ह ह ह ह ह ह,,,,,,,,,,

 मृत्यु के बाद की गति को ( सामन्य मनुष्य ) कोई नही जानता है, सिर्फ सिर्फ मरनेवाला जीवात्मा ही जानता है,,, स्वार्थ परायण जीव स्वर्ग कैसे पा सकता है ???

स्वर्ग तो परमार्थ करनेवाले देवता पुरूषो के लिए होता है,,, परमार्थ करनेवाला जीव मृत्युलोक मे पूजनिय होता है, जो यहा पूजा जाता है, वहाँ भी पूजा जाता है, पूजाजानेवाला जीव देवता होता है, जिस का स्वर्ग मे स्वागत होता है ।

 घर परिवार के लिए जीनेवाला, घर परिवार मे पूजा जाएगा, समाज के लिए जीनेवाला, समाज मे पूजा जाएगा, क्योकि वो सिर्फ घर परिवार के लिए या समाज के लिए जीया है,,, सूक्ष्म रूप से वो एक स्वार्थ पराणय जीवन है,,, क्योकि वो सब के लिए नही, समग्र के लिए नही, सभी के लिए नही जीया है,,, राजा और महाराजा सब के लिए, सभी के लिए, समग्र के लिए जीते है, तभी वो पूजनिय है ।

( महाराजा का अर्थ साधु- ब्राह्मण करना क्योकि धर्म की दिक्षा और शिक्षा लेकर वो धर्म-कर्म जाननेवाला होता है,  राजा सदैव राजगुरू और राजगोर का सन्मान करता था,,, इन्ही महाराजाओ की आज्ञा सदैव मानता था )

नारी सदैव पूजनिय माना जाए क्योकि अपने माँ-बाप का घर परिवार का त्याग कर के दूसरो के लिए, परोपकार के लिए छोडकर जीवन व्यतित करती है, उन के स्वार्थ मे भी आंशिक परमार्थ है, त्यागी और परमार्थी होने के बाद भी उन का जीवन घर परिवार तक ही सीमित होता है । तब वो भी बंधन युक्त है ।

       भारत भूमि चेतना की भूमि है, क्योकि यह भूमि मे अनेको जीन्दा समाधि है,,, इस भूमि को पवित्र रखना हमारा धर्म है,,,

 पुराणो मे पढो,,, तो राक्षस खुन और हड्डिया जहाँ तहाँ फेककर देवताओ का कर्म नष्ट करते थे, आज भी ऐसा ही अपना धर्म नष्ट करने का प्रयास हो रहा है,,,

आज भी देव गुरू बृहस्पति द्वारा बताया हुआ दक्षिण मार्ग अहिंसक और पवित्रता का है, तो दूसरी तरफ दानव गुरू शुक्राचार्य द्वारा बताया हुआ वाममार्ग हिंसक और निंदनिय है । दौनो मार्ग धर्म का माने लैकिन अपना कुलधर्म को भूलकर नही,,,

भगवान श्री कृष्णने भी कहा है कि कैसा भी हो, मगर अपने कुल धर्म को हमे नही भूलना चाहिए,,, क्षत्रिय को क्षत्रिय का धर्म नही भूलना चाहिए,,, ब्राह्मण को, ब्राह्मणो का धर्म नही भूलना चाहिए,,, वैश्य को वैश्य का धर्म नही भूलना चाहिए,,, शुद्र को शुद्र का धर्म नही भूलना चाहिए,,,

वाल्मिक ऋषि के वंश को आज भंगी समाज से जानते है, वो जीते जी भी किसी के शरीर मे प्रवेश करने की विद्या आज भी कोई कोई जानते है, नीति नियम पालनेवाला भंगी किसी के आंगन मे, घर मे भोजन नही पाएगा,,, यह बात क्या बताती है,,, यही की वो अपने कुलधर्म के कर्म को वफादार है,,,

 भगवान श्री कुष्ण सरल रूप मे मृत्यु और पुनर्जन्म के बारे मे समझाते है, कि जो जिस को भजता है,वो उसी को पाता है और मृत्यु समये जो जिस का ध्यान धरता है, वो उसी को पाता है,,,  मंदिर मे नित्य जाने का नियम इसलिए था, ताकी देवता के गुणो को गुरू मानकर हम हमारा धर्म भूल ना जाए,,, तभी तो मै बार बार यही सीखाता हुँ, कि जो मरना सीख गए, वो जीना सीख गए,,,

हरि ॐ तत् सत्
धर्म रक्षति रक्षितः
सनातनम् जयति शासनम्

मैं युवाओं से कहना चाहता हूँ

मैं युवाओं से कहना चाहता हूँ

मित्रों, इस आध्यात्मिक प्रस्तुति से मैं युवाओं से कहना चाहता हूँ कि भक्ति के साथ कर्मयोग करें, आपकी सफलता पक्की हैं, भक्ति का मतलब यह नहीं है कि माला लेकर बैंठ जाय, बल्कि भगवद्गीता में तो कर्म को ही योग से जोड़ दिया हैं, कर्म यानी कार्य तो करना ही पड़ेगा, लेकिन कार्य के साथ धर्म को रखकर करेंगे तो कार्य एक योग हुआ, हम नोकरी करे तो पूजा के तुल्य, धंधा करे तो धर्म का पुट हो, हमने गीता में पढ़ा है कि धन्धे में मुनाफा छुपाना पड़ता, कभी-कभी धंधे में थोड़ा-बहुत झूठ चलता है, लेकिन फरेब और गलत कार्यों की इजाजत नहीं हैं, यही धर्म के साथ किया हुआ कर्म आज के युवाओं के लिये भक्ति हैं।

आज के युवाओं को मन में विश्वास बैठा लेना चाहिये कि हम सफलता के लिये ही पैदा हुये हैं और सफलता प्राप्त करके ही रहेंगे, मनमस्तिष्क में जैसा हम सोच लेते हैं वैसे ही हम बन जाते हैं, सफलता प्राप्त करने के लिए हमें सकारात्मक सोचना चाहिये और स्वयं को महत्व देते हुये खुद को मूल्यवान समझना चाहिये,  इस तरह का विश्वास करने वालों को ही सफलता मिलती है, सफल लोगों में ही आत्मविश्वास व आत्मसम्मान होता है, जो उन्हें अपने भीतर की शक्तियों का आभास कराता है, सफल लोग बाकी लोगों की अपेक्षा अपना स्वयं का आत्मसम्मान करते हैं, आशावादी व खुशमिजाज रहते हैं, बुरी खबर या बुरे दिनों को अपने ऊपर हावी नहीं होने देते। 

आत्मसम्मान से ही आत्मविश्वास उत्पन्न होता है, किसी विषय पर निर्णय लेने में स्वयं पर भरोसा करके उसके बारे में अच्छा सोचना जरुरी हैं, भक्ति के साथ कर्म करने वाले को अगर असफलता भी मिली तो उस असफलता पर निराश नहीं होते, बल्कि दुगुनी शक्ति के साथ वही कार्य व्यवस्थित तरीके से करने पर सफलता अवश्य मिलती हैं, क्योंकि असफलता से आत्मविश्वास की कमी होने लगती है इसमें बदलाव की कुंजी हमारे मस्तिष्क के अंदर है, हम अपनी इच्छा शक्ति के द्वारा ही अपने सोचने के तरीकों को बदल सकते हैं, नकारात्मक विचार को हटाकर इच्छा शक्ति को प्रबल बनाया जा सकता है, क्योंकि इच्छा शक्ति नकारात्मक विचारों पर हावी होती है।

हमें अपनी असफलता के लिये किसी ओर को या प्रतिकूल परिस्थितियों का बहाना नहीं देना चाहिये, बल्कि असफलता पर पलटवार करने और सफलता हासिल करने का आत्मबल हमारे अन्दर हैं, जिसके कारण सामने वाला विरोधी व्यक्ति आपको मार्ग से हिला नहीं सकता, अपने आप पर भरोसा अपने कार्यों के द्वारा दिखाई देगा, जो यह साबित करता है कि हम कितने विश्वास से भरे हुये हैं, हम अपने आप को जैसा सोचते हैं वैसा ही ढालिये, हमारा आत्मविश्वास ही ईश्वर प्रदत्त वास्तविक स्वरूप है, हमारे जीवन की घटनायें हमारे सकारात्मक नजरिये और आत्मसम्मान को बताती है, ये घटनायें हमें प्रोत्साहित भी कर सकती है और निरूत्साहित भी, सुखी भी और दुखी भी, लक्ष्य तक पहुँचने के लिये प्रतिकूल परिस्थियों का डटकर मुकाबला करना चाहिये।

ऐसा तभी होगा जब हम नकारात्मक विचारों को निकालकर, असफलता को परे कर, संकल्प, समर्पण व कठिन मेहनत से लक्ष्य भेदे, हमें अपनी निराशा जनक व मित्रहीन स्थिति से उबरकर आत्मसुधार करना चाहिये, क्योंकि हमारे अंदर छिपी हुई रहस्यमयी शक्ति होती है , जिसके आह्वान पर अजेय बाधाओं को जीत सकते हैं, समर्पण भाव से कोशिश करे, स्वयं से प्रेम करे, भरोसा रखें, सकारात्मक सोच को लायें, अपने आप को प्रोत्साहित करें, आत्मसम्मान बनायें रखें, हमें अपने आप को भी प्रेरित करते रहना चाहिये, ताकि जिससे अवचेतन मन में जङे मजबूत बन जायें।

भाईब-बहनों! यह जीवन आत्मसम्मान से जीवन के अंतिम क्षण तक चलने वाली प्रक्रिया है जो युवावस्था में आगे धकेलता है, प्रौढावस्था में सबलता प्रदान करता है और आने वाले वर्षों में नवीनता प्रदान करता है, इसलिये हमें नकारात्मक, निराशा, असफलता के शब्दों की जगह सकारात्मक, आशावादी शब्दों को बोये और सृजन करे, विजयी शब्द ही सोचें, प्रोत्साहन के शब्दों को जोडे, उत्साह के शब्द ही प्रयुक्त करें, प्रेम के शब्दों का प्रयोग करे, आत्मप्रताङना को स्थान नहीं दें, कूल मिलाकर स्थितियाँ कैसी भी हो आत्मविश्वास डगमगाना नहीं चाहिये, इसी संदेश के साथ आज के शुभदिवस की आप सभी को बहुत बहुत शुभकामनायें।

How to Avoid Bad Or Inferior Peoples

How to Avoid Bad Or Inferior Peoples

Introduction

Toxic people have always been a drag, but research shows they can physically harm your brain. In this, we show you how to keep your gray matter safe.

Toxic people defy logic. Some are blissfully unaware of the negative impact that they have on those around them, and others seem to derive satisfaction from creating chaos and pushing other people’s buttons. Either way, they create unnecessary complexity, strife and, worst of all, stress. Studies have long shown that stress can have a lasting, negative impact on the brain.

Exposure to even a few days of stress compromises the effectiveness of neurons in the hippocampus—an important brain area responsible for reasoning and memory. Weeks of stress cause reversible damage to neuronal dendrites (the small “arms” that brain cells use to communicate with each other), and months of stress can permanently destroy neurons. Stress is a formidable threat to your success—when stress gets out of control, your brain and your performance suffer.

Most sources of stress at work are easy to identify. If your nonprofit is working to land a grant that your organization needs to function, you’re bound to feel stress and likely know how to manage it. It’s the unexpected sources of stress that take you by surprise and harm you the most.

Recent research from the Department of Biological and Clinical Psychology at Friedrich Schiller University in Germany found that exposure to stimuli that cause strong negative emotions—the same kind of exposure you get when dealing with toxic people—caused subjects’ brains to have a massive stress response. Whether it’s negativity, cruelty, the victim syndrome or just plain craziness, toxic people drive your brain into a stressed-out state that should be avoided at all costs. The ability to manage your emotions and remain calm under pressure has a direct link to your performance.

TalentSmart has conducted research with more than a million people, and we’ve found that 90 percent of top performers are skilled at managing their emotions in times of stress in order to remain calm and in control. One of their greatest gifts is the ability to neutralize toxic people. Top performers have well-honed coping strategies that they employ to keep toxic people at bay.

While I’ve run across numerous effective strategies that successful people employ when dealing with toxic people, what follows are 12 of the best. To deal with toxic people effectively, you need an approach that enables you, across the board, to control what you can and eliminate what you can’t. The important thing to remember is that you are in control of far more than you realize.

1.They set limits (especially with complainers).
Complainers and negative people are bad news because they wallow in their problems and fail to focus on solutions. They want people to join their pity party so that they can feel better about themselves. People often feel pressure to listen to complainers because they don’t want to be seen as callous or rude, but there’s a fine line between lending a sympathetic ear and getting sucked into their negative emotional spiral. You can avoid this only by setting limits and distancing yourself when necessary.

Think of it this way: If the complainer were smoking, would you sit there all afternoon inhaling the secondhand smoke? You’d distance yourself, and you should do the same with complainers. A great way to set limits is to ask complainers how they intend to fix the problem. They will either quiet down or redirect the conversation in a productive direction.

2. They don’t die in the fight.
Successful people know how important it is to live to fight another day, especially when your foe is a toxic individual. In conflict, unchecked emotion makes you dig your heels in and fight the kind of battle that can leave you severely damaged. When you read and respond to your emotions, you’re able to choose your battles wisely and only stand your ground when the time is right.

3. They rise above.
Toxic people drive you crazy because their behavior is so irrational. Make no mistake about it—their behavior truly goes against reason. So why do you allow yourself to respond to them emotionally and get sucked into the mix? The more irrational and off-base someone is, the easier it should be for you to remove yourself from their traps.

Quit trying to beat them at their own game. Distance yourself from them emotionally and approach your interactions like they’re a science project (or you’re their shrink, if you prefer the analogy). You don’t need to respond to the emotional chaos—only the facts.

4. They stay aware of their emotions.
Maintaining an emotional distance requires awareness. You can’t stop someone from pushing your buttons if you don’t recognize when it’s happening. Sometimes you’ll find yourself in situations where you’ll need to regroup and choose the best way forward. This is fine and you shouldn’t be afraid to buy yourself some time to do so. Think of it this way: If a mentally unstable person approaches you on the street and tells you he’s John F. Kennedy, you’re unlikely to set him straight.

When you find yourself with a co-worker who is engaged in similarly derailed thinking, sometimes it’s best to just smile and nod. If you’re going to have to straighten them out, it’s better to give yourself some time to plan the best way to go about it.

5. They establish boundaries.
This is the area where most people tend to sell themselves short. They feel like because they work or live with someone, they have no way to control the chaos. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Once you’ve found your way to rise above a person, you’ll begin to find their behavior more predictable and easier to understand. This will equip you to think rationally about when and where you have to put up with them and when you don’t. For example, even if you work with someone closely on a project team, that doesn’t mean that you need to have the same level of one-on-one interaction with them that you have with other team members.

You can establish a boundary, but you’ll have to do so consciously and proactively. If you let things happen naturally, you are bound to find yourself constantly embroiled in difficult conversations. If you set boundaries and decide when and where you’ll engage a difficult person, you can control much of the chaos. The only trick is to stick to your guns and keep boundaries in place when the person tries to encroach upon them, which they will.

6. They won’t let anyone limit their joy.
When your sense of pleasure and satisfaction are derived from the opinions of other people, you are no longer the master of your own happiness. When emotionally intelligent people feel good about something that they’ve done, they won’t let anyone’s opinions or snide remarks take that away from them.

While it’s impossible to turn off your reactions to what others think of you, you don’t have to compare yourself to others, and you can always take people’s opinions with a grain of salt. That way, no matter what toxic people are thinking or doing, your self-worth comes from within. Regardless of what people think of you at any particular moment, one thing is certain: You’re never as good or bad as they say you are.

7. They don’t focus on problems—only solutions.
Where you focus your attention determines your emotional state. When you fixate on the problems you’re facing, you create and prolong negative emotions and stress. When you focus on actions to better yourself and your circumstances, you create a sense of personal efficacy that produces positive emotions and reduces stress. When it comes to toxic people, fixating on how crazy and difficult they are gives them power over you.

Quit thinking about how troubling your difficult person is, and focus instead on how you’re going to go about handling them. This makes you more effective by putting you in control, and it will reduce the amount of stress you experience when interacting with them.

8. They don’t forget.
Emotionally intelligent people are quick to forgive, but that doesn’t mean that they forget. Forgiveness requires letting go of what’s happened so that you can move on. It doesn’t mean you’ll give a wrongdoer another chance. Successful people are unwilling to be bogged down unnecessarily by others’ mistakes, so they let them go quickly and are assertive in protecting themselves from future harm.

9. They squash negative self-talk.
Sometimes you absorb the negativity of other people. There’s nothing wrong with feeling bad about how someone is treating you, but your self-talk (the thoughts you have about your feelings) can either intensify the negativity or help you move past it. Negative self-talk is unrealistic, unnecessary and self-defeating. It sends you into a downward emotional spiral that is difficult to pull out of. You should avoid negative self-talk at all costs.

10. They limit their caffeine intake.
Drinking caffeine triggers the release of adrenaline. Adrenaline is the source of the “fight-or-flight” response, a survival mechanism that forces you to stand up and fight or run for the hills when faced with a threat. The fight-or-flight mechanism sidesteps rational thinking in favor of a faster response. This is great when a bear is chasing you, but not so great when you’re surprised in the hallway by an angry co-worker.

11. They get some sleep.
I’ve beaten this one to death over the years and can’t say enough about the importance of sleep to increasing your emotional intelligence and managing your stress levels. When you sleep, your brain literally recharges, shuffling through the day’s memories and storing or discarding them (which causes dreams), so that you wake up alert and clear-headed.

Your self-control, attention and memory are all reduced when you don’t get enough—or the right kind—of sleep. Sleep deprivation raises stress hormone levels on its own, even without a stressor present. A good night’s sleep makes you more positive, creative and proactive in your approach to toxic people, giving you the perspective you need to deal effectively with them.

12. They use their support system.
It’s tempting, yet entirely ineffective, to attempt tackling everything by yourself. To deal with toxic people, you need to recognize the weaknesses in your approach to them. This means tapping into your support system to gain perspective on a challenging person.

Everyone has someone at work and/or outside work who is on their team, rooting for them and ready to help them get the best from a difficult situation. Identify these individuals in your life and make an effort to seek their insight and assistance when you need it. Something as simple as explaining the situation can lead to a new perspective. Most of the time, other people can see a solution that you can’t because they are not as emotionally invested in the situation.

Before you get this system to work brilliantly, you’re going to have to pass some tests. Most of the time, you will find yourself tested by touchy interactions with problem people. Thankfully, the plasticity of the brain allows it to mold and change as you practice new behaviors, even when you fail. Implementing these healthy, stress-relieving techniques for dealing with difficult people will train your brain to handle stress more effectively and decrease the likelihood of ill effects.